[ x . i . a . o . l . i . n . g ]

[Oh no! XD]

I was gonna say that I was free this week. And next week. Free as in just studying and no assignments UNTIL NEXT WEEK. BUT, just then the BCT teacher said our BCT exams start THIS friday! >_< Four 40 minute lessons!! Aaah~ but I guess it's alright. Cuz it's document composing and everything. And by doing the exam late this week and early next week, it means that there won't be a BCT exam during exam block. Oh wellz, I don't think I'll be stressing about this too much. I'll just keep continuing to do the practice stuff the teacher gave us.
Watched the Da Vinci Code on Saturday. Okay movie, hehe ... different from the book obviously. But yeah, I think I might wanna sit down and read the whole book properly again. Like, properly, properly.
New layout soon! I want photoshop T_T

- xiaoling - Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 11:23 a.m. -

[English finished]

Oh man. I am so gonna be sleep deprived tomorrow ... whoa wait ... TODAY! hehe it's 1.15 already >_< What a nice time to update. But yeah~ currently waiting for A-lice to finish typing her Eng to send to me and read and stuff. I'm glad to say that I actually finished my Eng at like 12.30 ish. However, since I have to stay up to read A-lice's thing, I just kept proofreading and editing it. blah~ My english is so crappy. I really need to find some way to improve it. Anyway, I'm satisfied with it. I'll work on my english. But ... ENGLISH FINISHED HAVE I!!! (I have finished english) w00t!~ no more assessment. Just have to study study study for exam block coming up in 2 weeks.

- xiaoling - Friday, May 19, 2006 - 01:15 a.m. -

[Wrong.]

Why is it that everytime I do something, it results in something I don't like? I try to correct things, do things better, but it never turns out the way I want it. To me, stuff like that never happens. You always want things to go in your favour and benefit you but that's just being plain selfish. So I guess I'm just a selfish little bitch. Yeah? I dunno. But seriously, nothing feels right lately. On some days, I feel that everything is going all happy happy joy joy but then something bad pops up. Or sometimes everything goes all wrong. But what do I do about it? Nothing. I 'move on' and bottle up everything inside of me. And so everything just piles up, and the pile gets bigger and bigger. And then comes the day where everything just goes completely wrong and I completely break down. It's not often that I do this but when it happens I don't like it. I hate crying. It makes me feel bad. Wait. I can't say I hate crying. I sometimes wish myself to cry. But that never happens. It always happens when I least want it to. Yeah~ so when I completely break down, I just feel like parts of me just ... disappear. Okay, whatever. I don't know how to describe it but meh~ *sigh* all my bottled up problems/emotions/thoughts slowly trickle out just like my tears. Tears that stop, and flow, and stop, and flow. Craaap. So why does everything I do lately seem so wrong?
I feel like a failure to myself. My friends. The family. Mostly to my dad probably. I swear he's so against me now. All cuz of school and everything tied in with school. My (to him) way bad choice of subjects, how I go about doing schoolwork and assignments ... and just school related stuff. Random side note: I've found I don't deal well with pressure. Anyway, then there's the also once-in-a-while talk about friends and who I hang around with and my extra-curricular activties and the people I hang around with etc. Rawr. And there's a whole lotta other stuff. meeeeeeeh~ So basically, what happened yesterday put me in a bad mood. Hence this weird entry. I woke up at like 10.30 after sleeping at like 12.30 the night before cuz of my coffee high. Had brekky and then started working. Dad comes along, everything goes wrong, I cry for 2 hrs, felt like crap for the rest of the day ... and yeah, nothing else done. hmm ... Today, continued moping around for another half day. Then talking to friends/seeing friends just made me feel a whole lot better and I kinda stopped moping around. I felt way better though. Sometimes, I think I rely on my friends too much. I mean like, yeah friends are always there for you etcetc but *siiighs* dah~ I dunno. Being around them just makes me feel a whole lot better and happier. *thinks* What would it be like to go to school everyday, knowing you had no friends or people wanting to talk to you? And spending the whole day by yourself? *shivers*

*Personality change*

Mother's Day yesterday. Had a dinner thing at Wendy's house. Because of previous stuff, I wasn't feeling all the best when I arrived. So I was "tired" for the night. But yeah, go Wendy's baked cheesecake. It tastes so nice. Cheese and biscuit goodness. Ooh, I made dessert the night before as well, tiramisu ^^v. It was a pretty simple recipe. I kinda stuffed it up (sogginess) but it was still nice ... coffee and hazelnut liqueur goodness. I love coffee. I had so much coffee yesterday. I woke up at like, 10.30 and had a cup milk with oreos and then mum says that we had coffee bean powder leftover so she made coffee for me. Started theory and then stuff happened and moped around for 2 hrs. Went out for lunch/afternoon tea. Takoyaki and a big glass of strong Milk Tea. More caffeine. And also ruined my appetite for later. Went to Wendy's house, bummed around, helped with setting up, ate, cleaned up, chatted + went semi-hi, ate dessert (yum!), cleaned-up, chatted more + went more semi-hi and then went home. It was a really great night, even though it seems like I've reduced it to something way less than that. But it was cool. It's not often that I get to talk to my friend and her bro together and stuff. I've known them for like, so long ... 13 years? or more? something like that. They're practically like sister and brother to me. *shrugs*

What am I gonna do with myself?

- xiaoling - Monday, May 15, 2006 - 11:26 p.m. -

[Laziness]

Gah. I've been really lazy with updating lately. I'll start and entry and everything but halfway through I'd run out of things to say or forget what I was gonna say so I end up not updating =P
So what's been happening lately. For two Saturdays in a row, I went to two weddings. The first one was church friends wedding and second one was family friends wedding. Two experiences of attending a wedding =D It's made me realise how much effort is actually put into all the planning of weddings, decorations and catering etc. For the family friends wedding, Vonz, Heidi, Wendy and I had to help with all the food and drinks throughout the day. lol ... go the kitchen. It was like fully equipped with everything XD. Near the end, we all then packed up all the leftovers and then went home for a 2-3 hr rest before we had to come back out for the reception XD The reception was cool. So many people and tables! When it was food time, they made people go out table by table. Luckily we were the 5th table cuz by the time we got our food and finished eating, there were still many tables after us that hadn't even got their food yet @_@; Funny. Then after eating and waiting for other people to eat, all four of us went outside and started taking random photos =P After that, the MCs said more stuff and then the speeches and singing and dancing etc. hehe~ twas a cool night. Nice food, desserts and entertainment ^^v
What else? Sunday was Josh's 18th b'day party. Food and game funness XD Twas a fun night and really enjoyed it. But I was still feeling half dead from the day before. I just realised that on saturday, I was up from 7am all the way till 12, no (sleep) rest in between. LOL, I didn't wake up properly that morning till around 11!
Today, Days of Excellence thingo. Went to another school for a whole day to learn kanji >_>; Good or bad decision I don't know. Bad that I missed "every subject" day and most importantly, double English >_< Good in that it was a fun day doing Jap and learning stuff that I already know, lol and trying to uncover the secrets behind a made up murder mystery. All in jap of course. Very interesting indeed. aii ... dunno la~ I probably say this heaps, but I really need to start getting off my lazy bum and get working. hm ...

- xiaoling - Thursday, May 11, 2006 - 09:03 p.m. -

[Regret]

Have you ever thought about the things that happen your life and regret that they've happened? Have you ever wished there was just a rewind button? Press rewind, go back in time and amend all the things you wished you'd done. Sounds so cliche. But seriously, lately I've been thinking alot about the things that have happened in the past. I can't seem to just leave it behind and continue on. I ponder too much over the past. And I regret heaps of things that have happened in my life. I regret not having stronger relationships with my friends. I've lost so much contact with my previous friends and there's a constant nagging feeling inside me. I mean, I don't regret having the friends I have now. I can't bear the thought of losing them. I love all you guys so much ^^ But my other friends, I haven't seen half of them since primary school. Most I hardly keep in contact with. I deeply regret it. And I blame myself for not being able to establish stronger friendships. My friendships now are kinda strong, but are they strong enough? I'm amazed at the kinds of friends I've been able to make over the past few years. And I've also come to realised that I've changed so much. Good thing or a bad thing I don't know, but there's such a big difference between the current me and the past me. However, I still regret my key factor of being shy. I mentally kick myself everytime I meet new people. I'm just too shy to be able to strike up conversations. Lasting ones anyway. What's worse is bumping into old friends. You've once been good friends with them and they've been in all your classes etc, but since everyone moves to different schools, the contact is lost. Every conversation is practically the same. Friend: Hey *insert name*!, Me: Hey *insert name*!. And silence follows. It's so annoying. And I blame myself for it as well. *sigh*
Pretty random entry. I was gonna write more but I've decided to stop. No use in thinking too much about the past. I need to move on and think about now and the future. lol ... the thoughts that pop up into my head during BCT. meh~ Who actually read all the way through this entry? o_O;

- xiaoling - Friday, April 28, 2006 - 10:03 a.m. -

[Photos >_<]

School photo day today. Once again I'm in the front row XD omg ... I think I've always been in the front row since Yr7. Shows how much I've grown over the past years ^^'' meeeh~ school photos are annoying.
Holiday yesterday. Didn't do any schoolwork though. So much for an extra day XD I woke up and decided that I needed to do my theory, so I basically spent the rest of the morning doing that. Then for the rest of the day I decided to fold origami boxes for upcoming birthdays. May is like the start of "it's everybody's birthday" month. I'm gonna go broke buying presents >_<
Busy weeks coming up. I really have to get my act together and not get sidetracked while I'm working. haha ... BCT exam next week and IPT assignment due. Then there's events I have to attend this weekend and next weekend. OMG, theory and piano coming up too. I'm more worried about those than anything else. aaaaah
Oh yeah! The other day I was reading through a random page from the newpaper. It was a section on interesting facts about animals. This was what caught my eye. "Sloths take up to 2 weeks to digest their food" LOL! Sloooow sloths.
I want a new layout XD

- xiaoling - Wednesday, April 26, 2006 - 11:50 a.m. -

[*sigh*]

Well ... first week of school ended already. Already received assignments + due dates and there's a BCT test in 2 weeks time >< The pressure is building~ But it's been a pretty good first "week" (3 days) of school.
Chinese teacher didn't end up leaving. So we still have the same person. And yeah, stayed up late typing up a stupid 500 word essay type thing about "My Aspiration". It's supposed to be for a speech competition thing but since no one volunteered to do it, the teacher made the whole class write a speech and then we'd select people from there. How fun ... not. I don't wanna be selected.
Making t-shirts are so annoying and fun at the same time. Oh, let's add in time-consuming as well XD. Seriously, I've been running around the past week looking for shirts and screen-printing material and jotting down all the info and stuff. I wonder if we'll be able to make and sell them within 2weeks so that people can wear it in time?
Bumped into Daniel the other night. I was eating dinner then he walked into the cafe and I was like o_o; So awkward. Memories came back and I felt sick. Then it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night. WTH?! >_>;

- xiaoling - Sunday, April 23, 2006 - 05:07 p.m. -

[School again!]

Uh. Yeah. Tis school again XD I'm like not extremely excited about it nor am I really against coming back. I mean, it's good in some ways and bad in others. Good thing about it is that I can get back to a normal routine type thing. Going to school also means I can see friends everyday and stuff. LOL Bad thing is just schoolwork and any upcoming assignments =P. Meh~ oh wellz, another term of school. Another 10 or so weeks. Good luck to me XD.
hmm ... well what's been happening. Went to friend's house on Saturday. Big bunch of kids. Craaaazy. But the youngest kid is soo cute ^-^ haha she's so cute and adorable. I have a soft spot for little kids >_>; Yeaah~ then Sunday, Monday and Tuesday was just filled with bumming around, working! XD and getting ready for school. My nice end to the holidays =P Ah well, it's been a good rest.

- xiaoling - Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:05 a.m. -

[Only cuz I should be working =P]

My eyes are going crazy from looking at all teh IPT assignment stuffs. So only blogging cuz I'm "resting". XD
I LOVE ENOKI MUSHROOM! =3 They taste sooooo nice. Esp when mum makes it with beef and satay sauce ... YUM! I love it! I wanna have moooore! >_< hehe

Okay, today I somehow ended up spending quite a while emptying out my inbox. So much junk in there I realized. So yeah, found lots of random stuff in there and thought I'd just shove some on here! Enjoy reading! XD

POLITCALLY CORRECT TERMS:
- no one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired"
- you dont have detention, youre just one of the "exit delayed"
- these days, a student isnt lazy. he's "energetically declined"
- your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience"
- you're not sleeping in class, youre "rationing consciousness"
- you're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time" - you're not shy. you're "conversationally selective"
- you dont talk a lot. youre just "abundantly verbal"
- you weren't passing notes in class. you were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned medicatoins"
- it's not called gossip anymore. it's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information"
- your mind doesn't wander. it becomes "temporally displaced"

- xiaoling - Friday, April 14, 2006 - 04:14 p.m. -

[Yeaaaah ... XD]

Whoaaa! Holidays are flying by so quickly. It's Thursday already, which means that school starts again in like, a weeks time o_o; I haven't done anything!!!! XD I think that's the highlight in each and every one of my holidays "I have completed nothing (again)!" Ah well, I have kinda done bits and pieces of work that I need to do. I've read through parts of the two plays needed for English, and I've finally decided on a topic for IPT (I think XD) and am now searching through for the different names I need. hmm ... then I guess it's alright then. I've still got a few days to do what I need ... maybe. I'm regretting my holiday decision planning right now. At first, I was going to spend the first week just plain procrastinating and doing abosolutely nothing. That I was able to successfully complete XD. THEN, my second week was going to be spent "full-time" working. Bad decision. I've been out practically everyday since Tuesday and that working time is just kinda flying by >_>;; Right now I'm just thinking "Get moving Sloth! Stop being so lazy! XD" But yeah, I still predict that I won't be able to have to work until early next week. Apparently there's lots of events happening this weekend. How sad >_<
Well ... apart from that I have been having a fun time this week. Being out with friends and everything ^_^. Hung out with a big bunch of friends on Tuesday. They went to see Ice Age 2 and cuz I had already seen it, I waited for them at the foodcourt for 1hr 30mins =P So boooring. haha but yeah, Josh was keeping me company so that was cool. So random though ... resulted to drawing uber random pictures in his art diary o_o;; Yeaaaaah, and I found out on Tuesday ... that I really really really suck at DDR now >_< I just can't get the steps and beat right! Gaaah, sucks. Anyway, then today went for lunch with family friends and friend. Then went shopping with Wendz afterwards and that was really cool even though it was just like, walking around the shopping center randomly and then grocery shopping XD Yeaah~ twas a fun day today. I don't regret my decision for going out. I originally just wanted to stay home and work but I decided in the morning that I'd keep Wendz company ^^'' hehe
OMG! I FINALLY bought a top to go with the dress I'm going to wear to my friend's wedding @_@; So frustrating. I absolutely hate shopping for "pretty" clothes. Call me weird but seriously, so stooopid >_< That day, when I wear that dress, it's going to be like a "once in a lifetime opportunity" (besides the formal) omg ... I'm gonna be like wearing dresses for the WHOLE day that day. Oh yeah, and it's actually not black this time *shockgaspshock* It's GREEN O_O;; But hey, I figured that green and black look good together so I bought it. And it was cheap, so bonus! ai ... but seriously, I am SO over shopping right now. omg ... and I still need to find shoes >_< Geez ... this is such a girly rant @_@;;
*diez* Theory exam in just over a months time. I'm like kinda freaking and kinda not freaking. I mean, I know I'm capable of doing everything. It just that when it's exam conditions I always get mental blanks and I forget everything and don't remember till the last minute. Add oil for me! >_<
Long entry O_______O Congrats if you actually got to the end of this entry!

- xiaoling - Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 10:43 p.m. -

[Movies ^_^v]

Sunday today, which means a whole week of holidays has gone by. Okay, I have to start working now XD ...c an't procrastinate (well maybe not as much =P) But it's been a good first week of holidays. Even though it's been really boring I'm glad for the rest and everything the day provides as it goes by o_O;
Went to teh movies with A-lice and Bev on Friday to watch Ice Age 2. Josh came later afterwards and lol ... I think he was majorly bored XD *poke poke* Anyway, Ice Age 2 = very good. I mean, usually I make a comment about sequels being really bad, but this one was actually good. I love teh squirrel XD It's so funny ... running around trying to get it's acorn out of various places. And yeah, it's a good movie ^_^ watch it pplz!~ So afterwards, we went DDRing as usual and then left. hehe ... good to see friends again.
Okies then, going to a friends' house later. I better go get ready and stuff. Laterz

- xiaoling - Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 04:41 p.m. -

[Holidays~]

The weather has been so weird lately. It was really cold a few days ago, the suddenly really hot. Then yesterday there was this uber big storm which started off as a hail storm. Consequently, the power went out 3 times and the internet died and didn't reconnect until 11 at night >_>;;; SUCKS! But yeah, the hail was really cool. The whole of the front driveway was white. However, I wasn't fast enough to take a picture ... it all already melted when the rain started coming down XD Picture opportunity MISSED >_<
It's the 3/5 day (depending if you count the weekend) into the holidays. SO BORED ALREADY! XD I mean, I want to procrastinate for the first few days and then work after that. But there's nothing interesting to do. All I've done is just ... bum around at home and practically stay on the comp for the whole day chatting on MSN, surfing the web, design stuff and watch movies. It is fun in a way, but there's just this feeling of boredom. I miss friends >_< lol ... I'm so used to seeing them everyday but now it's like, not as often. hehe so yeah~ miss you guys! ^^
So ... cuz the internet died yesterday, I was left with 7 ish hours doing nothing. Kinda. I continually kept trying to reconnect to the net. Stooopid cable and the host >_< But yeah~ I eventually went to watch a movie. Alexander XD. Envy if you're reading this I so get what you mean. All teh slashyness~ haha so funny. Alexander x Hephaistion =P

- xiaoling - Wednesday, April 5, 2006 - 10:59 a.m. -

[So stooooooooopid]

I. feel. so. annoyed. at. the. stooopid. rain XD OMG ... it was the school fun run today and the weather wasn't exactly suitable. Geez, it was like already showering/spitting before the whole run started and then DURING the run it starts POURING. Running in pouring rain + sports uniform = very soggy. SO STUPID! I mean, the people don't even think about what we'd end up like after we ran/walked the 3.5 km. If swear, I catch a cold between today and tomorrow, I'm gonna be so pissed off. Gaar~ and it's still so cold now even though I have my jumper on!! >___<
Last day of school today!!! 19 days of holidays ^^v lol ... but what am I gonna do these holidays? Bum around like every other time holiday comes around? hmm ... I think I might clean my room again XD I could also study =P, draw, read, play games and ... stuff o_O; Ah~ I don't know. I really just don't want to waste my time again. Oh wellz~ think, think, think.
Gaah!~ have to go and watch sister's school musical today. I don't think they're even prepared. This is so bad XD

- xiaoling - Friday, March 31, 2006 - 12:42 p.m. -

[Aaah!]

*releases a big breath* English is finally over and done with. And I can also safetly say that there is no more major assessment to worry about for the rest of this term, which is just basically the remainder of the week. haaa ... feel more relaxed now. But I think I've seriously stuffed up my Eng oral. So now, the thing I'm "nervous" about getting results of any tests that still need to be given to us. ai .....
I'm starting to feel the effects of the Autumn weather. It's like so much cooler these days and in the mornings, the air temperature is actually really cool, and not hot XD And the sun doesn't seem to be helping. At school teh aircon works and so jumpers and blazers need to be worn but still cold! XD But yeah~ the autumn weather is cool. Nice cool winds with the heat (kinda) of the sun. hmm ...
Anyway, wanna continue reading my friend's story. Really, really good ^_^ Oh yeah~ a new tagboard is up. See how long I'll go with this one before I decide that I don't like it XD

- xiaoling - Monday, March 27, 2006 - 02:15 p.m. -

[Happy Birthday Illumi!]

Illumi I don't even know if you even read this or anything but yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! hehe =D and I'm ONE DAY older than you~~~ Anyway~ yeah thanks guys for your presents and "Happy Birthday" ings for me yesterday. Even the songs >__< Gaah! But yeah~ fun day, cool pressies, now I'm year older!
OMG ... chinese test today was actually "hard". I didn't get enough time to finish writing everything I needed. I actually had to think more about the test instead of spewing out the info systematically XD Butyeah, not enought time + didn't finish test = bad mark. Hope I'll at least get more than 80/100, otherwise I think I'll just get into major trouble. Cuz I didn't "study" and went to badminton instead. But badminton was fun. Lots of really good people @_@ And JOSH smashed and it hit A-lice REALLY HARD!!!!! Meaaany~~ lol Yeah~ twas fun yesterday. Wanna go next week but gotta watch sister in teh musical >_< They are so not prepared. It's gonna be so bad this year. AAH!
One more week till holidays.

- xiaoling - Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 04:23 p.m. -

[O-okay]

Didn't end up continuing yesterday but anyway. Yeah~ new layout but some stuff is still missing. Still kinda making adjustments and everything. I'm probably gonna make another layout over the holidays coming up. This is like, a 5 min random insert graphicy stuff and make it into a blog layout o_O; It's a really after exam rest time result kinda thing.
YAY! Birthday tomorrow. I really don't know if I should so something or not. Cuz it's kinda late if I do plan something now. Still got an Eng oral to complete so I'm kinda thinking about that instead of what I could possibly do. Meh~ I think I'll just let it pass. lol I don't make a big deal out of it, since year 6 anyway. Sometimes I just really can't be stuffed having a proper "celebration" for this kinda thing. Having friends around with you is already good ^_^ I don't know what I'd do without them. Wuv you guys =3 *hugglez*
*sigh* Chinese exam this week. How to study? XD But yeah~ get above 85 and I'm all good. Seriously though, I don't know how to properly study for it >_>;; Greeeat.
Holidays coming soon.

- xiaoling - Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 12:57 p.m. -

[New layout]

Okay there's a new layout and everything but it's not showing up so I'm not sure of what it looks like. So yeah~ posted it up for now. Update later.

- xiaoling - Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 12:31 p.m. -

[BLANK!]

A bit late now, but Happy Birthday Killua (for Friday! XD). But yeah~ the usual happened. Went the the movies, bummed around shopping center and DDRed. Twas a good day, hehe no exams so it's all good. aii ... but school again tomorrow. It seems like ages since I've been to school. Since Wednesday morning in fact. O_O;;; wow it has been a long time.
Went to LaserForce yesterday for Youth Group activity. Twas fun and funny XD But my legs/thighs hurt from squatting down and running while squatting so yeah XD Anyway, lol wanna go back sometime ^^''

- xiaoling - Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 02:22 p.m. -